Tonight I had a break through. I keep having these break throughs this year. Except it’s not that I am brilliant or have some novel concept or idea…it’s that God is breaking through the layers of my sin. Ouch.
It seems as though every time I feel like I’ve gotten a handle on things and doing pretty well, the Lord starts chipping away again. You might remember my post a little while ago about the people fast. I’ve been feeling pretty good about that, especially since i’ve been home. I’ve been happy, content, thankful. I’ve been serving my family instead of reverting to jr. high again and acting like a spoiled little brat. I’ve been letting things slide off my back, covering in love. I mean really, I was incarnating Christ like it was my job (please hear my sarcasm in that).
Then, that all got thrown off. I fell back into my old pattern of thinking. Got a sinus headache (which I now think are actually stress headaches). Couldn’t shake myself out of it. Decided I was better off on my own, life is easier without relationships, and made secret plans in my head to return back to Master’s early to get myself out of this predicament sooner rather than later.
When my mom and I were having dinner tonight, she blasted the top off my sin. I don’t think it was even on purpose, just asked a simple question. I started to see the same things oozing out of a lot of areas of my life. Booty. Just when you think you’re getting things under control!
This year has been one of incessant refining. The Lord has been very kind to put me in a spot where He used my own desires to force me to face my sin, repent of it, and begin to change. God used the perfect set of circumstances to peel back layers of old patterns of sin I had dolled up enough to not have to pay attention to. As I look back to last year at this time, I realize I am a very different girl than I was then which I’m incredibly thankful for. And tonight I didn’t feel annoyed that God showed me more sin. You know when you’ve had a heck of a day and one final thing happens and you just start to laugh because it’s almost comical and somewhat unsurprising? That’s more it was it was like. “Of course you would.”
But, the good news is that sin is enslaving and sanctification is freeing. No, actually, the good news is that because of Jesus Christ my sins are forgiven. Tonight I am more thankful than ever for relationships that don’t end when things get rough but instead grow stronger and stronger with each storm and a God who is relentless in His love.
I’m excited about what God is up to.
I read this on my friend Summer’s blog today. It hit my heart, so I thought I’d pay it forward. Enjoy.
“So much of our lives as Christians is spent in futile doubt, weak questionings, and apathetic, self-serving strategies. In part, we fail in our war for purity because we spend too much time meditating on ourselves, our work, our growth. We have little hope for change because our hope is grounded in ourselves, in how we’re doing, in whether God is proving His love by granting us every trifling desire or delivering us from heartbreaking trial. We’ve been deceived into believing that His love is passe, something we’ve already comprehended. It bores us. John’s message, through the Spirit of the living Christ, calls to you today: “See!” See him. See what your adoption cost Him. See His commitment to His family, to you. Steep your soul in the warmth of His desire to have you for His own, and after you have done that, pursue the purity that is a mark of this fierce love.” – Elyse Fitzpatrick, Comforts from the Cross
Amen and Amen.
Incessant self-improvement projects has just kind of become a way of life for me. I’m constantly trying to work on something. This summer it is: learning to like salads (which means, preparing healthy salads in hopes of finding some I like), meal and menu planning, and cooking healthy and tasty meals (I can cook tasty no prob, or healthy when I’m in the mood, but the two often don’t go together).
I’ve had a lot of opportunities to do all of these since I’ve been up visiting my parents in Pleasanton for the past week! I was anticipating this so I brought with me some of the latest cookbooks I’ve been wanting to try — Cook Yourself Thin, Simple But Perfect Salads, and the latest copy of Real Simple. I arrived on Sunday and Monday afternoon my cousin Jen, along with her husband Chris and five kids, came to stay with us. Monday morning I busted out my cookbooks and planned the menu for the week. It was an awesome experience to get to plan, shop for, and prepare so many meals for such a large group of people.
It also helped having 14 extra hands around to help do everything. Those kids are seriously so helpful. Chris & Jen have done a really wonderful job raising their kids. I only wish I had a picture of Emma standing on her little stool next to me helping me cook everything on the stove!
Here is precious little Emma and Katie (also precious) proudly wearing their strawberry shortcake after they helped me dish it all out and serve it up.
This is the Greathouse Fam after our final breakfast by the outdoor fireplace (Emma insisted on eating our meals out there).
The day they left my sister’s mother-in-law (affectionately referred to as “Mil”– M-I-L) came into town so we’ve been busy cooking since I got here. Last night was particularly fun, all of us in the kitchen getting everything ready together. I’ve missed being part of this.
Anyways, last night I threw together something I concocted in my mind (which is exciting, I think being able to “throw” something together is the sign of a truly great cook) — Whole wheat cous cous, spinach, and grilled fruit (covered in balsamic vinegar which caramelizes during the grilling….DEE-licious). We had it with tri-tip kabobs, sweet potato spears, and watermelon. Here’s the final product:
This is quickly turning into a hobby — something I actually enjoy doing besides shopping! Can’t wait for Father’s Day dinner tomorrow night!
I am so excited! Paul Tripp’s new book, Broken Down House is available now.
I’ve always kind of been an optimist, a world-full-of-possibilities type of girl. I’ve also received 7 years of education at a fine institution which does a wonderful job standing for and defending the truth and sufficiency of the Word of God. I’m incredibly fortunate and really grateful for those things.
The downside to that is that what is technically possible and what is realistic don’t always square up. The truth of what should happen in light of the teaching in God’s Word isn’t always what actually does happen. When you mix optimism, faith in an infinite God, and the training in truth I’ve received — you can have, what I would call, a young idealism that is bound to be shaken. Idealism can be defined as “impracticality by virtue of thinking of things in their ideal form rather than as they really are.” Yep, that’s me.
The temptation, when the idealism is shaken, is to become fake, disallusioned, bitter, jaded, or to just live in denial. I don’t think any of these are good options. That’s why I’m excited for this book. Because my hope is it will address how to live in the midst of a world where ideals, or “shoulds,” aren’t always realities. Churches don’t do all they “should” do, families aren’t always what they “should” be, governments don’t function the way they “should,” husbands, wives. mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, friends, roommates, all fail to be what they “should” be. And still we have to live somehow.
I can’t wait to read it. I’ll let you know what I learn.
It’s been about a month since school has been out. How has that much time gone by already?! Anyways, I have done quite a bit of sitting around on my duff…but I haven’t been a total sloth. Here’s the update on what I’ve been up to the past few weeks.
- Tommy came into town for graduation — got to hang out with him and Jessica Syler that night! Laughed HARD.
- Went to lunch with my old roommate Christi and then spent the day cleaning up the dorm before Katy Vold came over & stayed the night at my place.
- Mother’s Day with the Horton’s & their families, where they announced Amy is pregnant!!!, then Bart’s seminary graduation.
- RD & Student Life Staff Retreats.
- 1 week of pure homework sheol & saying goodbye — 7 papers, 3 quizzes, a final, 2 books, last girl RD hangout time, last all RD hangout time.
- Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale at 6:30 AM with Heidi Keller — when discipleship calls, I answer.
- Memorial Day weekend in Pleasanton with the entire fam — Dave and Sadie came out from Texas!
- Went down to Orange County for breakfast with Isaiah, the rainbows outlet, and my first trip to Fashion Island! Then I stopped by to see Ben for just a little bit on my way back up to Santa Clarita.
- Got to go over to the Horton’s for dinner and spend some Quality Time with my dear friends =).
- 3 Day Vacation/People Fast/Sabbatical from Life (which you can read about here.
- Hung out with Amy Trae, my head RA, before she left for Taiwan!
- Got a library card!!!
- Spent a lot of time with Ona — Del Taco, Minchi’s, made him dinner one night & went to the Hulet’s volleyball game (which they NEVER told us they were even in a community league?!)
- Hung out with Jeannette (another RA from this last year) for an afternoon of catching up.
- Porto’s then the Americana with Esther, then RD interviews & watched Bride Wars with Esther, then dinner & shopping with the Dennises that night. Lots of laughter.
- Did some bike riding with Esther now that I have my bike down here and bought a new gel pad seat cover!
- Begun my quest to begin liking salads. Had Rick & Esther over for a sweet potato, eggplant & peppers salad. Didn’t like it. =/ Green bean salad is up next!
- Had a Crepe Party (normal party — Crepe’s to eat) with old and new friends which was very fun! Peter, Greg, and Melissa stayed and played Life, my new favorite game. I LOVE crepes. New favorite. I think I’m even going to make them for dinner tonight.
- Went to Ventura with the Dennises — spent the day at the beach, went antiquing/shopping in the little downtown area, dinner at Chick-Fil-A and some shopping at the outlets!
- Went to Disneyland with the Dennises the next day (which, I must admit, Disneyland IS much better when you have a season pass because you can leave whenever you want and go with good friends!) and planned out future “themed” Disneyland Trips.
- Monday spent the day with Heidi — pedicures, Starbucks, then Nordstrom Rack & the Topanga Canyon Mall then met up with Amy for some Golden Spoon and catching up.
- Quit drinking caffeine (yes, that includes Diet Coke! AH!) and finally got some sleep! PTL!
- Hung out with Ona & Sam for an afternoon then went over to the Dennises for New In Town.
- Coffee with Lauren Harris & then game night with Rick, Esther, Siona, and Dave and Trisha. Played Settler’s of Catan for the first time — liked it a lot, then Life!
- Spent the day today in Old Town Pasadena with my old roommate Beth Flower and her daughter June! So great to see her again. It’s always ike no time has passed.
- In between all of that I’ve been getting to go for walks, spend time with the Lord, play some solo-tennis, find new music, work on homework for my SIP classes (Problems & Procedures, Spiritual Formations, and NANC Seminar), read books for pleasure, play my guitar, catch up on shows I’ve Tivoed, and clean and organize my apartment.
It’s been a fun few weeks. At times I’m tempted to feel really really badly for getting to spend so much time playing and having fun with friends, but I’m trying to just enjoy the time I have before it gets really crazy again when the school year starts. The rest of the summer includes a lot of time with my family (and my NEPHEW who is arriving SOON!) and some SIP classes. PTL for seasons of rest and laughter and enoying good friends.
