Do you ever have those moments that all the sudden you are really aware of how undeserving you are of the good things you have in this life? And suddenly very grateful for what you have?
I must admit that those moments are rarer than they should be in my life, but tonight it happened.
Tomorrow I have the final walk through at my old apartment in Valencia. It’s been looming over my head the past few weeks but I’ve been enjoying moving into my new place, spending time with old friends, and having family come through to visit and keeping myself VERY busy with projects around the house and errands. So I haven’t spent much time on the old apartment. But I knew these last few days would be busy, because a lot of the cleaning needed to be saved for these final days.
I am the only of the roommates left in town, so we all thought it’d be best to hire a maid and carpet cleaning service to take care of everything today. I had it perfectly planned out and timed and even called yesterday to confirm that the maid would be there at 1 pm today. And I planned my RD training time around having to let the maid in. But 1 pm came and went….and no maid. Finally, after 30 minutes, I went to get my own cleaning supplies because I knew that place needed to be cleaned before 4 pm when the carpet cleaners got there so we wouldn’t be walking around on the clean carpets.
After 3 and a half hours of cleaning….I was extremely exhausted and had only finished one bedroom and bathroom of a two bed/two bath, plus office, living room, and kitchen apartment. But Esther called and had made me dinner so I headed over there and cannot tell you how refreshed I was just by that meal. I just felt so thankful for her kindness and hard work to put all that together for me (and her husband, Rick). Then, they both offered to come over and help me finish up the cleaning. And my friend Gavin drove straight from work to help us too.
Their help made the work go by so quickly. It really didn’t seem like that much work…but it would have taken me hours to do it. And having them there made it much more enjoyable. And we even had time for a field trip to Target where we ran all around the store trying to get our items before the other team, which I think the Target workers and shoppers alike found enjoyable. They were even cheering us on! It’s not every day you find four grown adults running around a store frantically trying to find cleaning supplies, ice cream, and lamps. So the work ended up being light and enjoyable thanks to Rick and Esther and Gavin.
I just think it’s not every day you realize that you have a burden so great that you might not be able to do it. I was imagining staying up all night, or waking up at 5 am, and being stressed out all day tomorrow and getting down to the deadline and not having it done. And it’s not every day that you have friends who are so kind and sacrificial that they are willing to give up so much to help. And I’m very aware of how undeserving I am of such kindness.
I think this entire month has been incredibly humbling for me. From the day I moved in to my new apartment at Master’s I have been served, and blessed, and treated so kindly by my friends. And often times all I can say is “thank you.” I can’t really repay them- not in money, or service, or kindness. And it’s really humbling to just accept that kind of love and not try and pay it back. To just let people do things for you when you aren’t able to do it all yourself.
All that to say, I walked into my apartment tonight sore, and tired….and really really thankful. I feel like I just can’t say enough how thankful I am. And I hope that I can become the same type of person- who loves when it comes at a cost.
But for now, I’m going to bed. Goodnight.